The difference between PTSD and C-PTSD is how you embrace your anger.
PTSD – Something happened that so altered my world and I live in a state of uncontrollable rage. It frightens the people I love and want to protect.
C-PTSD – I was raised by paranoid people who needed a rabid dog they could put down if necessary. Everyone understands you need to put down a raid dog.
Why does this kind of anger even exist? Why is it moral to place people in situations that result in continuous explosive rage? There must be a reason. Nothing exists without a reason. I have to figure this out and it takes all my time to do that.
This rage lurks and jumps out at the most unexpected times. It’s a river of rage. You can sort of channel it and put it in places where it works, but they aren’t good places to be and it needs to be buried like a nuclear bomb and sent to the sun for disposal. People think they are going to a picnic and find themselves on a nuclear silo, -it’s so embarrassing.
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me to still waters. He restores my soul.
The rest of this poem is too confusing for me. I have too many questions. What is righteousness? Why would anyone prepare a table before my enemies, -surely this is a trap. I’ll have my water with no ripples, thankyou.
I’m more whole when I cry. It’s easier for people to understand and it’s easier for me to stop crying and love the green pastures. It’s as far as I’ve gotten. I shall not want for more.